Counting Down

Perhaps the reason I haven't written in three weeks is because I've been in denial of reality... or I've at least been too overwhelmed to want to write about it.

So instead of dwelling on the past (ok, it hasn't been ALL bad...), here are all the things I'm looking forward to:

• Being done with my internship (7 working days left!!)...There will be parts of my internship that I seriously miss, but I really want my life (and sanity) back.   
• Playing Just Dance on the wii.  It's something I've wanted to do recently, but haven't had time to during my internship.  And I'm good at it, too.  
• My roommate Becky's bridal shower.  I'm thrilled that she's getting married....to a great guy, of course.  
• Seeing several old friends that I've told, "I can hang out in two weeks!"
• The CES Fireside on Nov. 4th.  
• Daylight savings time ends on Nov. 4th....another sign that winter is on its way. :)
• Flying to Georgia in two weeks to visit my sister Rebekah's family.
• While in Georgia, I'll be attending ASHA with my sister Kaylene.  We two speechie nerds are going to have some good bonding time exploring all ASHA has to offer... including free stuff in the exhibit hall!
• Flying to Houston for my nephew's baptism and for Thanksgiving.  
• Flying home for Christmas... I just bought my plane tickets tonight!  (I think flying is sort of a theme here of things I'm looking forward to...what can I say?  I love to travel!)

So there you have it.  The next several weeks will be wonderful!  This past month has been filled with lots of stress and struggle, but also many wonderful miracles and tender mercies.  I have so many good friends that help take care of me.  I don't know how I could have survived this far without their love and generous service.  God truly answers our prayers through the people around us.  

Love,

Janelle

Amazed

Amazing things have happened this week.  They may not be amazing to some people, but they are to me.

1. After doing a few swallow evaluations this week, two of my patients can now eat food!  They were both previously on feeding tubes... but no longer.  Thankfully I've never had to experience going a month without eating food, but watching other people go through that makes me appreciate what a pleasurable, satisfying thing it is to eat.  So much of our social interaction and sense of self comes from eating.  And going for a long period of time without food can be torturous.  Trust me, I've had more than one patient ask me if they can get a steak...

2. Still on the topic of these swallow evaluations... I "took the lead" on two types of evaluations this week: a modified barium swallow (video x-ray of patients eating barium food), and a flexible endoscopic evaluation of swallowing (FEES).  During the evals, my supervisor, Kristin, wanted me to "call the shots", decide what to see next, what strategies to try, and then recommend what diet level the patient to have.  Apparently, I nailed it right on the head both times.  Afterward, Kristin had an excited look on her face, put her hand on my back and told me that I did a great job.  Later, after writing up the reports for both of these evals (these types of swallow evals make for longer, more detailed reports), Kristin said she was "amazed" at how thorough and accurate I was.  She joked that I could now be hired.... but I'm definitely not ready for that. :)  From my perspective, I'm amazed that I was able to do so well with these evaluations--they're tricky, I don't have much experience with them, and there were a few times when I felt like I was guessing ... and I'm even more amazed at how this has boosted my confidence the past couple days.  It taught me that I can be successful and do quality work.

3. Lastly, I'm amazed at how life is so much better when we put our focus, faith, and trust in Heavenly Father.  As I struggled through last week, I kept wondering what I needed to change in order to be happier and have more strength to get through these long days at the hospital.  I was already keeping up with studying my scriptures, etc...but I needed to better about remembering the Savior throughout the day, making sure I can feel the spirit at all times, and being even more sincere in my prayers.  As I've tried to make these changes, Heavenly Father has poured out so many evidences of his love and mercy--mostly through other people.  I'm amazed at how much Heavenly Father loves me.  And I know He loves all of us infinitely.

4. Ok, I lied...one more thing:  At lunch, my supervisor turned to me and said, "I have a big surprise for you."   I couldn't immediately tell if it was going to be good news or bad... but she let me know that we have this Friday off of work!  It's to make up for being scheduled to work Saturday the 20th... but still!  I am thrilled!! What a tender mercy. :)  I can have a day to prepare for General Conference, catch up on sleep, and take care of some much needed to-do's.  What a blessing..... that means tomorrow is my "Friday"!